The Darndest Thing
by fbeauchamphartz
Summary: While visiting his dad for a week in Lima, Kurt reflects all the new things that have happened in his life, specifically the strange new relationship between his ex-fiance and his ex-bully. Kurt H. Sebastian S. Blaine A. Dave K.


**A/N:** _This is a one-shot loosely based on the new Glee season six spoilers regarding Kurt's interaction with Blaine and Dave at a shop and new information about their relationship that Kurt finds out. (I don't want to spill here if you don't want to know.) Warning for spoilers, mention of Klaine/Blaine/Blainofsky, angst._

Kurt whistled as he walked into Rockhouse Records for his Thursday afternoon vinyl fix. Vintage albums were a new obsession he'd been turned on to recently. He was on the hunt to find a copy of Patti LuPone singing _Evita_ on the original soundtrack since his copy had mysteriously vanished in the move between Lima and New York. He had his suspicions as to where it might have ended up, but it wasn't worth tearing open old wounds just to reclaim an old soundtrack – especially considering new developments. He would normally opt for a copy on CD (which he did go ahead and order off of Amazon), but vinyl offered so many things that remastered HD quality sound lacked. All the little nuances that were erased – the sound of someone in the audience coughing, the breaths between the words, the clicking of character shoes on a wooden stage – were the very things that made the listener feel like they were sitting in the theater, watching that first performance so many years ago.

Kurt needed to get lost in a good musical score today.

He might be in Lima for a week to visit with his dad, but that didn't mean he was about to give up his rituals, and this one was sacred. It had been instrumental in helping him get through a huge emotional hurdle – the dissolution of his engagement with Blaine.

Kurt had to face facts – they were just too young, too immature, too inexperienced at this point in their lives to make that kind of a commitment. They couldn't even master living together, for heaven's sake. They both needed to know themselves better as individuals before they could hook their wagons to each other, so to speak.

A break, Kurt had decided, a la Rachel Green style, might be the thing they needed to strengthen their relationship. Then, after time had passed and they had grown more into their own skins, they could come back together as the tour de force couple they were. The one thing he hadn't anticipated was the effect this break would have on Blaine – the devastating effect, as it turned out. Blaine had always considered Kurt his anchor, and without him to hold on to, he flailed. He flunked out of NYADA, and in a completely unexpected move, went back to Westerville to live with his parents.

Kurt was flummoxed.

And as if things couldn't get more bizarre, Blaine had already moved on…with Dave Karofsky.

Karofsky.

Blaine and Karofsky.

Kurt didn't hold anything against Karofsky – not any more. Kurt had made peace with David a long time ago, and had always hoped for the best for him.

But Blaine?

The whole situation boggled the mind.

Didn't Dave have dreams of becoming a big sports agent? Whatever happened to that? Why didn't he leave Lima, this place that he hated, and never look back, the way he had planned?

Kurt didn't understand it, so he had to therefore conclude that Joss Whedon got it wrong. Sunnydale, California was not the Hellmouth. Lima, Ohio was, and it seemed to suck unsuspecting victims back to its fold the way a Corpse Flower attracted flies.

Well, not Kurt. Kurt was no fly.

Kurt did his best to avoid the happy couple, which became freakishly difficult because even though Blaine lived in Westerville and worked at Dalton, he seemed to spend a suspicious amount of time in Lima. Kurt didn't want to entrench himself in ex-fiancé-new-boyfriend drama, so he pretty much avoided all their old haunts and walked the other way when he could feel his Blaine-senses tingling.

But he couldn't avoid them forever, which he realized when the bell above the door to the record shop jingled and in walked Blaine and Dave.

Rachel had warned Kurt what to expect when he told her about his plans to visit, but it was oddly surreal to witness it for himself – to see them walk in together, out of the blue, arm-in-arm. His ex-bully and his ex-fiancé together as a couple. Even as he said it in his head, it sounded like the opening to a bad joke.

Did that make him the punchline?

He didn't want it to bother him, but there was a small degree to which it did.

Kurt would admit he had a moment of weakness after the split and Blaine moved back to Ohio. Kurt had considered chasing him, to confess his undying love to him and get back together, but after a dozen or so tequila shots with an unexpected friend, Kurt had decided to stay put. He was a New Yorker now. It was in his blood. He could no more leave the city and his dreams of Broadway than he could tear out his own heart, and that's exactly what he'd be doing by leaving everything he had worked so hard for behind to follow Blaine or anyone.

No, he didn't begrudge Dave and Blaine a single moment of their apparent happiness, but that didn't mean that he wanted to get stuck in the position where he would have to talk to them. He wanted none of the awkward conversation, hearing about how wonderful their life was together, pretending they were all still friends, and that there was nothing about this situation that wasn't just plain weird.

Kurt resolved to buy his record and leave, but in his attempt to play the role of nonchalant customer, he was apparently ignoring the happy couple too loudly, and found himself sucked into their tractor beam.

"Hey, Kurt!" Blaine said, rushing toward him, pulling Dave along. "I heard that you were back in town. How are you?"

"I'm good," Kurt said, taking a step back so as not to be wrangled into an unwanted hug. "Hey, Dave. It's nice to see you again."

"Likewise," Dave said with a terse wave.

"I was hoping we would run into you," Blaine continued as if a veil of uncomfortable hadn't just settled over the trio.

"Really?" Kurt asked. "Why?"

"Well, maybe you haven't heard, but Dave and I have decided to move in together!" Blaine made the statement with that nervous chuckle Kurt had once found so adorable, but now was simply vomit-inducing.

"No," Kurt said, fixing his smile firmly in place and fighting to keep his eyes from rolling, mostly for Dave's sake, since the poor man didn't seem at all as excited about this plan as Blaine did. "I hadn't heard."

"Yeah, well, it's nothing much. Just a two bedroom in Westerville, but we're excited about it."

"Yeah," Dave agreed half-heartedly. "Totally excited."

Kurt nodded, wondering what the social etiquette behind running away from a wholly unpleasant situation was. Was he required to give them three minutes of his time? Five minutes? Did it involve chewing off a limb?

"Anyway," Blaine carried on, "Brittany promised to help us decorate, but she won't be in town for a few days, and I was hoping I could pick your brain for a few pointers."

"Oh," Kurt said, his mouth dropping open a bit in surprise, "that sounds…actually, I can't right now. I'm kind of meeting someone for lunch."

"I completely understand," Blaine said with a dismissive wave. "I know you came out here to see your dad, but if you can find time in your schedule, could you give me a call?"

Kurt looked back and forth between Blaine's face, then Dave's, and then back to Blaine.

"Uh, sure," Kurt said, backing slowly away. "If I find the time. It was nice seeing you…both…again…"

Kurt made his way to the register without looking back, but he felt like he was being watched. He purchased his vinyl record and walked out the door, turning once to do the polite thing and give a last wave good-bye.

Kurt took a deep breath of the cold air and sighed, wondering how much more unreal this day could get, when a pair of strong arms wrapped around his waist and lifted him up from behind.

"Ugh!" Kurt groaned as he was swung back and forth like a rag doll. "Get off of me!"

"I can't," Sebastian teased. "I think my arms are stuck." But he obediently dropped his boyfriend back to the sidewalk, even if he wasn't gentle about it. Sebastian spun Kurt around in his arms. "Hey, babe. Why the long face?"

"I…it's the darndest thing," Kurt started out, tugging on the hem of his jacket to straighten it back onto his frame. "Guess who I just ran into at the record store?"

"Tell me," Sebastian said, only half-listening as he bit along the skin of Kurt's jawline.

"Blaine."

"How is that weird?" Sebastian muttered, moving on to Kurt's neck. "You knew he moved back here after he flunked out of NYADA."

"I know," Kurt said, giggling when Sebastian bit down on a sensitive patch of skin, and pushed his boyfriend away. "That's not the weird part."

"Okay…" Sebastian grabbed Kurt by the hips, unwilling to be shunned. "What's the weird part?"

"He's moving into a new apartment…with Dave Karofsky."

"Wow," Sebastian said, stopping his assault on Kurt and looking genuinely shocked. "That is something. The Hobbit and Liberace. Are you okay?" Sebastian asked, and then covered his concern by saying, "I don't want you being weepy during sex later on. It kind of kills the mood."

Kurt nodded slowly, a smile spreading across his lips.

"Actually, it's a relief," Kurt admitted. "I mean, I felt a little guilty when Blaine spiraled out of control and flunked out of school, but they look so happy." Kurt glanced over his shoulder at the record shop, but the two men were nowhere to be seen. "It's nice to know alls well that ends well."

Kurt sighed, ducking his head, and Sebastian bent over to catch his eyes.

"Any regrets?" Sebastian asked, sounding a little vulnerable even though he was fairly sure of the answer.

"No," Kurt said, looping his arms around Sebastian's neck and pulling him close. "Not about us."

"Great," Sebastian said, kissing Kurt chastely on the lips, knowing the boundaries of Kurt's PDA and realizing he'd already crossed a dozen of them during this exchange. "Let's go back to your dad's house and bone. I can think of a few surfaces we haven't christened yet."

"You are so vulgar," Kurt groaned, pushing away from Sebastian who slipped his hand into Kurt's back pocket and pulled him back.

"I know," Sebastian said, entirely unrepentant, "but that's why you love me."

"Well, that's not the reason," Kurt chuckled, giving up on his escape and resting his head on Sebastian's shoulder, "but yes, I do love you."

Sebastian dropped a kiss onto the crown of Kurt's head as they hurried away through the frigid afternoon air to Sebastian's waiting car.

Inside the record shop, a disgruntled Blaine peeked out the window from behind a display of clearance CDs, watching his ex-fiancé and his old nemesis walk away wrapped in each other's arms.

"I don't think that worked the way you hoped it would," Dave said, shaking his head and clapping Blaine on the shoulder.


End file.
